One is accelerating. One is decelerating. Now they stand momentarily together. It is still about for a duck, even if it is a potato. Even a duck can be as it is now. It started. It started so clearly. It started so clearly that there were even spaces in it. You're standing still, and then you're travelling. You're standing still, and then you're travelling. Time by time it flows at a rate prescribed by the financial community. Take two miles an hour and go directly to bed. It is up or down from the crossroads. I forget whether it matters or not. Words all crinkled up like the names of ferns. Piece by piece by piece by piece by piece to conclusion faintly drawn. A space comes and the Post Office isn't open so it is a driving space. Mike has been tidier and tidier until he finds one day it is so clean he can only get worse. Then he finds how quickly a small space becomes untidy. Thinking of you. Of who you are. Of why you are. Why are you. Why are you here. Why are you here now I have gone.
I got the feeling thewre was a lot of yesterday in everything that was untidy. The grey floor carries all of yesterday. The glowing end of a cigarette drops by the side of a chair and down a gap to the carpet. An orange singed glow site sedate, inviolable behing a robust briefcase. There it sits. Yesterday was torn in half and thrown away. It was all image. Being torn in half it was destroyed. Even though it was not really damaged yet, it was destroyed. It was ended. Cast away. thrown away. Continuous stationary wraps around you like erforated bandages. Paragraph after paragraph of printed insulation from the world and how it happens to have happened. To sleep. To sleep perchance to dream. Perchance. Well, you do learn a lot by being quiet sometimes.
Perhaps by sitting quietly something flows if it is allowed to. These things can happen then again. If there is no flow there is no flow. Perhaps or perhaps not. It can be changed. Perhaps it can be changed. Or perhaps not. If there is a flow that is a good thing to sit quietly. If there is not a flow it is not a good thing. Are we affected by the people around us. Are you affected by the people around you. Perhaps and perhaps not. So there we both are. Tidiness becomes untidiness and finally some office furniture is offered from Helston. So because I am going to Penzance I go to Helston. Because I am not going there are stopping there that is where I arrive. So in the Job Centre is the unwanted furniture. Some chairs, some screens and a large green cupboard. it is klarge because it is taller then I am. It is green in that shade saved exclusively for government offices. That could be a useful thing if people could only see it in that way. Probably they won't but that is what is most important. It doesn't look as though it will fit into the car so of course it will if I am determibned enough and so I get determination. It is on the second floor and to make life easier it will not comwe out of the office and round the corner onto the landing. There is a man who is helping who is trying very hard but is not very determined to succeed. He can let it wait until later. I have to be in Penzance before long so i cannot let it wait. We are stuck in a small room with an obstinate cupboard. Finally it comes out under the door by tipping its head and then raising it up again. So outside on the tiny landing by the steep winding stairs. Then I had to be left alone because something else was pressing. So the stairs stopped me. I could not have managed the stairs alone. Not the way I saw it then. In fact looking at it I could have, but this is now and that was then. So finally there were two hands available to try and move it down the stairs. It is frustrating not to be able to move a thing and to be trapped. No forward, no back. Just stand static. And wait wait it is frustrating. The finally two hands appeared who had guessed I was gay by the context. Two hands that did not want to give up and did not want to be beaten by a homosexual. It had a funny side to it. The doors were painted rich canary yellow and a large flake fell to the floor as the cupboard moved into the landing. Down the stairs it came slowly but not too slowly. Hibble hobble it went. Door and all. out in the street I am parked on a yellow line like a long flake of door and finally the back of the car opens. The dog food and the parcels stand aside. It slides in. It just slides in. It fits and the door doesn't close. So with probably enough thanks I move on to Penzance which is where I am going even if I am not at times. In the car there is a willow tree for Jack. Jack gave me some daffodils yesterday and said his willow tree had died, so I had a willow tree for Jack in the car by the cupboard. The back door is still open and the wind rushes through.
Sue is not there. Jack is not there. John is there so I ask about pots and they are promised. I ask about double primroses and they are promised. I will have to go and see at some time. Perhaps Monday will be a good day. Monday often is. So with very little achieved I don't stay. As I leave Sue arrives so I say less than I intended. Never mind. It seems Jack was drunk all day yesterday and when he came in this morning he was told he was late, so he walked out again. For twenty five years he has been drunk. For twenty five years he has been late on the second day of Penzance Show. For twenty five years he has sold bunches of daffodils for funds on the door. But this time he has resigned. He said he wasn't going to stand for it. So Jack wasn't here so I gave the willow to Delia. It was tidy really. So without the willow tree but with the cupboard I rush back home to get the late parcels to the Post Office before they close. After the slow cars there to the minute. It arrives just at that time. And them rushing out again. Ann wants to take two baby Ringneck Parrakeets out to hand rear because the third has died. That seems fair enough. First the brooder needed to be repaired. So that is to be done. Ann can get the plastic. She knows where the key is. The wine is being bottled. One was made of fresh grapes. One was made of grape juice concentrate. It was nowhere near as good. That was nice to find the fragrant beauty of wine made of fresh grapes by hand all crushed together. It is better.
And finally I drive back with the cupboard for dinner and meet Jill. I was quite looking forward to that. It annoys me slightly that there aren't a pair of brown shoes now. It slightly annoys me. The cupboard arrives on time most of it with me. I am not sure it will fit the low ceiling but that is all. It does. It fits in the house and is ugly as it ever could be. He does not want it. It will come back here in the end I expect. For now it is carried outside to wait. It has been carried about an awful lot for a cabinet that will remain unwanted still after all this time. Never mibnd. It is not added to. It will be taken away. Not a word. Not a word is needed. Not a word is not needed. Finally it is nothing but an excellent dinner. Jill borrows my scarf and we play a curious double-take about ownership. Both confuse slightly. It is an excellent dinner. Jill is excellent company. We can talk and agree and disagree quite freely. It is a very active conversation. I get to like Jill with only a few side comments. She is not as happy as she would like to seem. Jill is marvellous company. We get quite engrossed in small things. Peter sits by and watches. He says it was very relaxing. He says it was very relaxing to watch. I make a couple of moves to include him but he watches which is rare and also good. Boib goes to sleep on the settee in Peter's company. We slightly bore him and we made that mistake. The communication was good but Bob was not close to it which was less good. Scarf and all leaving it behind later.