Along the lonely road the lonely people walk hand in hand. None quite trust themselves to be interesting for even a moment so to save being rejected and boring they are nothing. Hand in hand and hand on heart and heart and soul as empty as a late fire engine. It would seem that the meaning and the words are completely independent. Well, that is no real surprise but it is odd to see how often suddenly words have no real meaning. All collected together into a feeling rather than a meaning. And it seems very slow to learn despite the advantage of a prehensile tail. Modern medicine eat your heart out, it seems you have anatomy all wrong. Education, forget it. How can you possibly teach anything except simple tricks to an animal without even a tail, let alone a prehensile one. Stupid stupid tail-less ape. Despite the advantage of a prehensile tail. Despite the advantage of a prehensile tauil it seems very slow to learn.
It seems it's a toy to them all. The owners have built an environment for people to play in, and they treat it as a toy. It is a game for them to play.
Why is it all so difficula and complex on the outside. Here where it is quiet it is quiet because that is how I choose to have it. #It seems not everybody chooses to have it that way. It seems that some people have it complex because that is the way they like it.
Sheila is an alcoholic. She has always been an alcoholic. She will always be an alcoholic. She has moved back in with Elizabeth for some reason that escapes my understanding. It is probably just money. Elizabeth is happy to feed her gin and vodka because that is the only way she can keep her. Vodka and vomiting seems to be the only way that Elizabeth can keep her because Elizabeth is rather posessive about Sheila. I wonder if through her life anybody has ever chosen to know Elizabeth. She seems to feel the best way to get on with people is to keep them in their place. So people try hard to ignore Elizabeth. Elizabeth was married. Her husband went out to get a bag of sugar after three months, and kept going until he got to Australia. That is how people behave around Elizabeth.
She went out in the morning and she locked Sheila in her room. Perhaps she had just never been allowed to grow up, anyway she locked her in her room. Sheila is trying to stop drinking but if she succeeds she will move out again and Elizabeth will lose her again because she is not stupid. So Elizabeth buys her gin and vodka to keep her unconscious and vomiting but to keep her. And Sheila got locked into her room because Elizabeth wasn't there to mount guard over her. Sheila has wandering hands and Elizabeth has a wandering morality.
Today Sheila was crawling up the stairts and so Jane called a doctor. And the doctor admitted her to hospital imm4ediately with pleurisy and pneumonia. She had kept Elizabeth awake all night with her illness, but Elizabeth would rather keep her drunk than risk losing her sober. I don't think she actually cares about anything anyway.
And last night Jane heard a window break and looked out to her next door neighbours, who had broken a window in the dark. And she was going to call out to offer them a torch, but Elizabeth had the torch.
This morning it turns out that the house had been broken into and eveything of value stolen.
Holding so strongly onto things. If you don't try to own things they can't be removed again. People I suppose are like that. The more they are held on to the less possible it will be to hold them. People and posessions. All things that can be lost again.
Perhaps there aren's any links. It's not like making pastry. Perhaps there aren't any links.
] Don't cry for the future. The future's not here.