This warm dark place. Sitting without comfort after so much that is comfort has been here. The cold morning winds have cut right through me. Through to the muscle. Through to the bone. Now I sit here chilled in the warmth. Chilled to the bone. The warmth around penetrates the skin no deeper. Here to relax the chill flows deeper. Deeper than bones. Deeper than bones. Chilled beyond bones beyond bones and deeper. Here though there is no warmth the chill flows still to no relax. A blast of hot air dessicates but cannot warm. Not now. Too late the chill just gently flow from the bones. No heat can lose but steady warmth will fulfill. Time takes time again for it to change. Time to cool takes time to heat. Chilled muscles contract right to the core. Chilled and set contracted in their places. Inside strains grow far by cold. No release no relax. Deep to the core. Chilled stomach cannot accept the warmth from food. Chilled bones leave comfort behind muscles and tendons ache a frozen pain.
Biting winds follow me back and forth. Across the cold footsteps blows the chill. Repeat the cold trudge the wind fights the empty shirt empty. Slowly decreasing pain of carrying measured by the numbing shirt. Pushed ever on ever onwards into it all. Sitting in the wind. Standing in the wind. Walking in the wind. Never too soon. Held here by a force to continue. To leave it. To leave it all. Going onwards to leave the cold wind behind. Reach in deeper strength to walk. Reach in deeper biting wind to chill. Reach in deeper. Bones replaced by ice. Ice cutting strong within. Ice abounds. Reach deep the warmth sends flurries of chill water deeper still. Ice replaces bone for strength. Solid like ice. Comfort like ice.
Lying here in the ambivalent warmth. Warmth to thaw. Warmth to send chill water deeper still. Food settles in the chill stomach gracelessly. Lying here in the dark the chill extends inwards from the warmth. Congestions. Lying here in the dark listening to recorded relaxations.
This woman has courage to say so much at once. I can barely follow so much at once. It is all here together. The sound is one to relax to the words are full of action. The mind spins in confusion throughout the range of ideas. Here it is all presented.
All at once it is all here all at once. So concentrated it can hardly flow. No mind to flow this all at once. It is not as I would tell it but it is all here. Some seems to me to be distorted by words. The words here can be to disguise the meaning.
So much it can never be clear to understand.