It has lately been a lot going on and so it has been a lot. Now to be simple and just inside sufficient only to be so. Now for that it has to be very simple on the outside. If everything is to be simple on the inside it is easiest for it all to be simple on the outside. The environment being simple and it all flowing through. The inside and the outside flowing through each other. This is simpler. Now it has lately been a lot on the outside and so it has been difficult to be on the inside simpler. And the outside has been flowing in in ways that are not entirely from me and the outside has been sloshing around in the inside and the inside has been displaced. And it is difficult to hold to the simple inside when the outside is not so simple again.
And knowing this and also there has been no time it has come to that. There has been a lot to happen. So there has simply not been enough time. And knowing this I have not been reading anything that is too much together. Because it will all be taken in onto the inside. And then it will all come out here again to the outside. And then if that were too much to be this would become little more than a copy. A copy in other words. This would be nothing here at all. Nothing but another copy. Like a library book with a blue dog eared cover. Over and over again used to dog eared cover. There would be nothing in it that at all I would want to write. So I have been very filling up and busy with the outside that is still going on. And then I have been quiet for a moment. Quiet here for a moment also. And then I came after to feel the need to be quiet and it was still so busy that is always so difficult. So I realized there was a book that had the right questions in it so I could look for them. And questions other than the ones I usually find in looking. And finally it was early in the after midnight morning I came to sit quietly on the bed and then on the floor. That was what it needed to be. And if I could I would be empty there, but that is more difficult. So then I was at least quiet for the time and again saw it so. And I have got as far as finding the book and indeed it is full of the same questions. So things have been much quieter lately. And sometimes for me this is borrowing courage from a book without answers. But also there is only in a book what you could find of it in yourself. As it is with people it can be the same with the book. All you ever see in people is reflections of yourself looking back. Behind every door. Reflections the look back at you. That is all you ever find in people. And it is all you ever find in books. Reflections of yourself. That is all there he is there can be found. So perhaps for books to come on to the inside here is not so dangerous if only if it allows more fully other reflections to arrive.
So books and people at least have that alike. So often it is spineless too. Perhaps it is all information, all things are reflected from inside you in how they are inside you. Perhaps that is it. The more complex they become nothing but reflections of the inside on the inside. So it is borrowing courage from a book without answers.
The telephone rings and it is very indeterminate. It's very faint but it's not at all decisive. It's just quiet. This morning was like that. It wasn't sunny. It was slightly misty but not enough to be anything. It had nearly rained all night but then it had stopped. It was strange and timeless. The voice on the telephone. The weather. Strange and timeless. It could have been any place. Any place at all could have been here. There must be a space like this even on a space station. A timelessness. A place where it all is exactly so strange. Here it is all exactly so strange. Strange and timeless and the nearly mist falling and not falling. The crocus was sealed tight like bayonets and net curtains. The single anemone sulks here. It is a time when it is all still asleep. It is and it should not be. It is and that is how it is. The telephone rings and it was like that. If there were birds sounds they were going to bed bird sounds. That is what they all were. Going to bed bird sounds. If there were sounds that is what they were.
The feeling of this is just strange. That is all.