The wind is blowing because it isn't going on much longer and then it will be cold. None of this is in me even the wind. But being cold later is in me on its own and so the wind is blowing now. It isn't Christmas now and so they say that people are not looking after their cats. Anyway it is not Christmas now and there are too many of them. It is only people that are interesting and it isn't Christmas and there are too many of them. Perhaps there were always too many of them. It is the spaces in people that are interesting and when there are too many of them the spaces are not left and they are all the same. Perhaps it is only when there are not as many as there are usually that it is interesting. Perhaps it is then that they use the spaces and are interesting. And now I think that Stuart has no spaces now and that is not interesting any more.
Cas it is mostly different but only now it is spaces that are showing because it is mostly boredom and so spaces are more Cas now and that is interesting. Stuart didn't used to be what he was at all expected. That was interesting because he wasn't at all expected. The person that lived the life and the time that Stuart called Stuart wasn't the person that I met that Stuart called Stuart. That is what was interesting because what it was is not what it was and what it was expected is not what it was. There were spaces in all of this that were interesting. Suddenly it has come to be now and almost suddenly what is expected to be Stuart has become Stuart and there is no space and it is all crowded together into him. I thought it was more but it isn't. It is more in a smaller space so it is less. It is more compact and it is less and there are no spaces and what is Stuart is what is expected by what is Stuarts' life and it isn't interesting at all in me now because it is all expected. I expect it will all change anyway and become interesting in me but that is all. I suppose in Stuart it has come to be what it is which is singing but always it is the same singing over and over so often that is all it is now. And even the spaces have filled up by contraction so it is less. This I think explains why Stuart has changed and become what he is because there are no spaces. Also I think that he has found that in him sex is like sex and it is without any spaces now and is like singing in him.
Perhaps Cas has decided that sex is like sex but in him it has made spaces because before there weren't any and so now he finds that sex is like sex and there are spaces because of that. Cas is slowly being interesting in me now because it was nothing before not even what he says there was before it was nothing in anybody and now it has gone there are spaces and he is being interesting in me. Stuart and Cas have both the same smile in its shape but it is in them differently. In Stuart it is always good timing and mostly in Cas it is always but now Cas has come into spaces it is always and good which is interesting and in Cas it is well timed to fill up the spaces which is what it is.
The plastic cover on the cover has blown off. It was not off in the morning but by lunchtime it was gone so it was gone. Replacing it is not strong in me and tomorrow I will see if it can be done and not be strong in me. We will see.
This is the wind blowing again and in Cas it will blow over but in Stuart the cover will be blown off because there are no spaces. And in Stuart this is not strong in me because it is not interesting.
I met a girl I kinow who's name is gone and it is not surprising. Only if she wore a straw hat would it be surprising and only then. She is very busy and very empty and it is interesting.
I quite like it that there are places people should go when they are old enough and so it is a pity that people no longer go to clubs in middle age. Because until then there are places people will go when they are old enough and after that there is only senility to look forward to go to when they are old enough. And that is a pity because now in the middle it is not new and different but only outgrowing what is older which is not enough to be interesting. I quite like it that there are places people go to when they are old enough.
Being where I wanted to be isn't so much important to me now as being where I am.