There is something about expectations that is all very peculiar in the way it distorts everything about it. Already I have thought about tomorrow That could be a year hence and I have written a brief note to somebody that is not even understandable today. And it is perhaps to be understandable in a year it is to be. And it is about blame and how it will grow out of nothing and that is what it will be. But it is for only a year that it will be understood so already there are expectations and already they are fixed into place by being written down even so much as this which is not as fixing is many things.

Anyway when it was yesterday and then the telephone rang and it was all possible to be other people that I had expectation and of course that was misleading. And a voice from the past called Chris said hello. Really it was as it always was because I think Chris is never outside it always being present. Snowdrops are still compulsive after all there has been so long. And that is where I feel warmest on reflection even if it can be threatening to be at first. When it was started in me and that was many years ago in snowdrops it was started by that in Chris. The that is just how it was. And then there was nothing I could do to help what with moving and so on it was. And now it is six years later and there it still is in Chris in being always in the present in him. And still he is justifying who he thinks of what because of his wife I think who is to him what is morality. That was the voice on the telephone and the opportunity a rises for it to be told simply to him after all these years but it is not taken because of their only being morality nearby. Now it has come around to being today and because the things that are close by me being mostly what is happening it was forgotten to be far away. But today it could have been that I visited Trevor to talk about what things are and that could have been interesting and again perhaps not. Anyway it was forgotten so the spaces those people would have made half in expectation will not now be seen until another time perhaps. That is all.

It happens that since last year there have been problems to be seen in Cas' eyes but I have been doing no more than seeing them no more. And just recently for him I think it is all falling down and not standing up and it is shaking at the centre. And so now it is not really had to sit still and watch because he or perhaps it is time to meddle not for anything but to hold steady for the moment to the centre and that might be no words at all only to be being in the right way. And so even though it is not in me now so it may be time for the birds to be used by support. He may be possible for it to be some use as an accessory though it will be quiet for a time to see. Now Cas is falling down mostly and for him that is difficult through being so young still even with growing old. And it is not possible for space to be made which is what is needed and so it is difficult. But perhaps it is possible by distraction to be with the birds and showing something deeper. There is simply some fear here that is small by being there and it can be acted on by showing it. So perhaps that is it and also with the reasons that there must be in me.

Here everything has been put away in boxes but not so carefully as it would need to put that to be right and it is being done so that it is all one box at a time only and all much simpler. But it is only so by being so much lesser the time. And this is well known by everybody and still is going on to be so again and again by not bothering to change it. And so perhaps it is in Cas but all have the boxes are moved slightly and things are not for a moment where they are expected and so it takes time and space but mostly time to find them all. And there may be no strong responses in that time because it is all so that they will not possibly be right to be so. If it can be so that it is not as it is so it must be stopped by allowing space and not needing.

Well in the beginning it is all technique, and that goes from being moderate to good and then to very good and then it all stops. Like it to being a caterpillar it is all a technical thing in living and doing. And then it all stops and nothing happens at all and like drifting I have been doing before now. And that is all space which is needed. And inside like a caterpillar the technique is broken down and all is changed around. And then one morning it is genius more or less. Simply all. And it is all even called perfect by being finally coming to terms with technique and art and reality and the understanding of all of this and its proper perspective. And by that technique itself is nothing if it is used or not it is by itself nothing. It is all much more. So technique becomes needed or not needed but it is only the place it has to start, and so it is with the being of nothing between then. That is the space so important the space for it to come to be in until finally one morning without it really slowly growing there is what it is and finished. And that is what genius is it is coming to be finished finally and so the drifting and the spaces on the way and respect for spaces and not respect for anything until finally it is suddenly finished. That is what it is are now we all know if we want to see it it will be so. That is what genius is.

It grows light and later it grows dark. And it rains and floods and dries and rains again and there are snowdrops for now and later memories are only and so it goes on with the sound of wet car tyres going up the hill. That is how it is all. And so it is with genius. Just all it it is all it.