Monday's can be such strange and artificial days even when there's no need for that. When it all fell apart a few years ago and that was when it all began. I had been building it from all I was since I was about 12 or so it had been. And it all fell completely apart. It all fell to nothing. This isn't the time for the emptiness or any of it. So he can be left behind for a moment. And when I had enough time and there was a great deal of drifting to do and it all became ready. I had to go back to the birds when I was five or seven to find and foundations and I could build again from the drifting coming together. Perhaps all too soon or too late and all but still. And now I can rescue what a lot of before but only now. So here it is that if it all goes again and it would be the birds too. I don't think there any foundations left to help in it all and rebuilding later. And I think it will all go for good so. I suppose this is where the time all starts to be by expectation. So. And if I get to the end of this which is now a year it will be so in one way or the other. In the one way it would all be burnt out for me and nothing except always drifting more. In the one way it will either all be much stronger by that and I will in powerful happen. So this is hurt. This is to hurt by accident all in powerful. This will be very sad. And it will be for good I think then. Perhaps I will be again so strong again so strong. And I am afraid I will have to lean on people so much to get there and being so powerful and strong by the end, they could get hurt so easily by accident. This is live again at the start of things most unexpectedly. These are the two ways only I can see for things to be except love and so leaning once instead of many times but it is much the same only more intense. To lean in one only. It could be time for me to settle down together.
It was raining. It's OK I can evolve. It was raining.
Watching it happened is allowed to be but now it is seeing forward and so much more misleading. But here it is. I was painting a long time ago it was patterns it seems now, all repetitions. I thought it was over with patterns when I painted 3728 impressionist ladybirds draining the but I think there is after that one more. The last was odd the end will be rounded more. Now I only came to realise this was what I was painting when it came round to writing it painting. Now there were very few pieces that were not repetition and about it. But for this it would not be realized but repetition is already over. So it is moving on and I am only just starting anew with ending and I think the subject is more difficult and less important really. Because of this and it being sex or love or some such. There were pieces of that before but now it is all going it would seem to be. This worries me that by knowing first or expecting first it will be too much nothing and not enough will happen. Perhaps there will be time because today's I can feel it running out in painting for a bit. I said before I could write and paint but not poetry to but I think I can write and write poetry but not paint so I don't know yet but perhaps. Small targets day by day small targets to build it is all still new and so soft. Still knowing it all would seem too analytical so if it stops being painting and becomes poetry that will not be too difficult.
Circles I suppose it is best to introduce circles here. This is circles. Mostly because of repetitions and I have no doubt I will need them later anyway.
It is rather frightening though being entirely honest even with me and there is more here yet that could be. Now there were two and I was quite right to look so. And one of those is paler now and one brighter in me, that is strange and not what I wanted but it has happened in me so sit back. Let me hold your hand for a moment. Use of the hotel comes usefully from nowhere its seems. Still now in the brighter it is simpler to see which may be why it is brighter. Certainly it is bolder and of stronger openness. There is much being reconciled here openly and not so where it is brighter. This is more appealing to me because of the extra strength and openness which would be much simpler and less likely to be hurting. But with all this it is a simple view and next week it will be all seen together by chance it will happen that way. That will be next week and already I can see some outcomes coming out and disappointment is one of those because either way may easily not be as right as it may look to be seen. Even for me it is rather frightening for this amount to be honest entirely for once. If I am to be fair the brightest of these is already growing and on his way it is simpler to see how it can be balanced. This is in many ways respect for it all. And I think if there is vulnerability this is where it is not important at all by being well matched on the whole of it. Now the other is less bright. It is not yet growing here. There is space for that to be, and there is space for an older man of 60 who has no slippers being most angry and a chair that is what it could all become.