Some people are exactly what they are expected to be and that is how it is Anita said she would arrive and then she did arrive. At about the time it would have expected her to arrive suddenly she did arrive when I would have expected. It was all forward and in front all completely. I looked in brief sideways and all around but it still was all forward and in front . Straight forward straightforward. And I thought - hey this must be it but it wasn't. I was told it wasn't later I was told it wasn't all. Guarded so carefully guarded so and so on. The line between should be hard and brittle but it is hard and elastic and that offends me in some way. Certainly it is all more difficult because of that. A marvelous dinner can happen in the least auspicious of surroundings. Auspicious - shall explain that? In the unknown background people could be dancing. A lady walked by with feet that hurt in shoes that offend. Squeaky beige leather heels. Gloss polished animals. She is much smaller because she has been dancing. Her partner is much taller. As they dance side by side she has one eye fixed firmly on the buttons on his waistcoat. He is tall with long legs and so when they dance he shuffles. She is small with short legs so with each step she gives a little jump. And so her feet hurt. For 40 years they have been dancing he has been shuffling she has been jumping the buttons have been shining and her feet have been hurting. She doesn't wear white now. That is all.
She walks down the turquoise chequed carpet. Feet firmly feet placing firmly. Only a little jump in each eyes step. Each shining eyes step. Concealed fluorescent lights make artificial windows. Jumping eyes march by.
Seats in regal splendour wait for the jet to touch down. Seemingly waiting always. Waiting while nothing ever happens. Somehow it is all rather sad and futile. Outside the waiting cars lie down in discontinued paterns. Waiting and knowing that nothing will happen and waiting. They have nowhere else to go. Pete has come back. He came down I suppose to say hello he has come back together. Already he has started to change the way the past is for him. Hailstones fell in brief on my head as I waited for the car.