Homeless.


The Creation.
In the Judaeo-christian tradition, God created the world in seven days. On the 7th day he rested, and that has become the sabbath. For Christians, that would be sunday, so day one was a monday. Probably took him a while to get going.
He made the light, saw that it was good, separated it from the dark, de da de da de da. Quite a thing to do on a monday, first thing. You get the feeling he is probably self-employed. Anybody else would have waited until after lunch for the big things. Started the day with some lightweight creating. Maybe Yin and Yang in the morning to limber up. Maybe on monday he created chocolate, tasted that it was good, and separated the milk from the plain.
Bit of a problem with white chocolate. Still not sorted it out by lunchtime, and then he had to deal with twilight. Half way through the first day and it's all going a bit pear-shaped. It was probably day one that he did Feng Shui.
I wonder when he thought up sarcasm? Sarcasm, irony, Charlie Dimmock, they all seem to belong together.
Tabloid journalism, chewing gum, non-genuine replacement car parts, scandal, dental floss. You would think they were probably early attempts.
And on the seventh day he rested. Perhaps it is a poor translation. He just stopped being creative. Income tax return forms. Oatmeal biscuits, nail scissors, naval fluff. Seventh day written all over them.
So what did he do on the eigth day? Sit around and scratch his arse? One week it's light and dark, good and evil, the next it's lie around all day listening to Burt Bacharach records?
23.06.02



Why does 'phonetic' start with a 'ph'?
30.08.02



The squaking of macaws has the same quality as a box of cornflakes being shaken. Not the same sound, but the same quality. A loose stack of disharmonies. A sound redolent with meaning but without content.
03.09.02



Emotionally and intellectually, we look for partners who are similar, who share viewpoints and experience and opinion, but sexually we loook for difference and diversity. Heterosexuals find that difference inherently in heterosexuality. Their partners will inevitably have a different view and approach to sex, and experience it from different perspectives.
Homosexual men are constantly running into similarities in sex, and having to look for ways of finding difference. Sex with something that is similar to self, is little more than solo sex, so a similar partner ends up in competition with wanking. The question will always be there, 'how did this compare to having a wank?'
Sex with a partner introduces social and communication difficulties which have to be balanced out by the benefit of difference, or the scales are tipped in favour of wanking.
When we look for partners, we are looking for intellectual and emotional similarities, and for sexual difference.
It is an unlikely combination of attributes, and makes long term staisfaction with partners unlikely. Long term relationships are made easier by homosexuals who adopt clear and distinct sexual roles and behaviour, because it re-introduces difference into the relationship.
15.10.02



In northern Sweden, a replica of Shakespeare's Globe Threatre has been built, entirely of ice. The players are performing a translation of Macbeth into the sami language.
The play is expected to run until april, when the theatre will melt.
 Channel4 news. 23.01.03



Clock string (Time line).
- a twining rope of clocks.
- electric clocks and cables.
 13.02.03



Cows and sheep burping produce 1/4 of the UK's total emission of methane.
An adult cow can produce 400 litres/day.
 Radio2. 28.02.03



The computer on board the 'Eagle', the Apollo 11 lunar landing module, had a memory of approximately 74 kbytes.
This is less than a mobile phone.(July 20th 1969)
 1.04.03



As part of the propaganda offensive in the war with Iraq, the British Army is employing the services of a military cartoonist.
 4.04.03



'Hemerocallist'
(W.T.U.A.C.N.W.Y.C.H.A.S.R.P.)
(Why think up a clever name when you can have a second rate pun.)
 20.04.03



The postman has just delivered a parcel of ink cartridges for my inkjet printer, and he had a handheld computer to record the delivery.
The computer scanned the bar-code on the parcel to identify it, then the postman tapped in my name on a touch sensitive screen keyboard, and asked for my signature.
A space had appeared on the screen, and using a plastic stylus, I signed the screen and the parcel was handed over to me.
So that he didn't lose it, the plastic stylus was tied to the computer with a piece of string.
 24.04.03



(Stuffed) toy roadkill.
 20.05.03



On 20th February 1990 the Narcissus and Tulip committee of the Royal Horticultural Society were asked to bring as many flowers as possible to the following meeting, so that they could compare them to determine the boundary between yellow and orange.
 1.06.03



Blind people who are allergic to dogs will soon be able to use guide horses instead. Miniature Shetland ponies are being trained to act as domestic assistants.
BBC1 News. 2.06.03



A shipment of rubber ducks, made in China and washed overboard in the Pacific in 1992, travelled north as a flotilla through the Bering Staits, around Canada, and are expected to turn up on the coasts of New England in the next few days, after an eleven year swim.
 14.07.03



Unlikely Fossils (carved into Serpentine).
 15.11.03



There was a young lady from Notts,
Whose postcards were covered in blots.
And she really got vexed
When she learned how to text
And her fingers got tied up in knots.
 21.01.04



"Butt a trifle." A big pink bum trifle.
 26.11.02



The Chinese say it is well to make a mistake now and then.
 18.11.03



Saddam Hussein was captured hiding in a hole six to eight feet deep near Ad Dawr. He was found with two AK47 rifles, a pistol, 750,000 US dollars and a taxi (orange and white).
 14.12.03



'Eclectorama' for a nursery name.
'Translitorations of the Ravens cries' is a title for something.
 27.02.04



"Britains only national bakery ingredient wholesaler."
 28.10.04



New Orleans was flooded after hurricane Katerina hit. A week later, from the flood, the BBC interviewed Congressman Dryer, who was in Los Angeles.
 4.09.05



'We know where you are'
Red lasers from the corners of the room track an individual as they walk through the gallery.
(as an installation).
 23.10.05



'Rubber Bulletin'
 23.10.05



It has been announced today that Elvis Presley has been the top earning dead celebrity for the fifth year in succession. He earned £25 million.
 28.10.05